Day 51 (Walking Up the Stairs to Achieve your Goals)

*I’ve been busy prioritizing my grades. This will relate to the post further down.

“The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps – we must step up the stairs.” -Vance Havner

Based on this quote, was there a time when that vision felt like it was 100 steps away? It seems daunting, doesn’t it?
But no matter how far away that vision is, it’ll never happen in real life unless we “walk up the stairs.”

So what do I mean by walking up the stairs?

Well I’ll describe my vision. I’d like better grades and more friends. That’s all there is for now because I’m still trying to figure out what I want. To some, that vision may only need one or two steps. Since I have some degree of social anxiety, there are more steps in my personal “staircase”. It seemed pretty tough. So I challenged myself to “walk up the stairs” to fulfill my vision.

So what’s the big hold up? Why can’t I just walk up the stairs quickly?

There are metaphorical blockades that get in the way

A couple of examples from my life:
-Social anxiety was my number one blockade. I’m not saying it’s fully conquered but it affects me much less. Back in the Fall, I could barely talk to any stranger. Today, I feel like I could talk to anyone if the situation calls for it.
-Another blockade was figuring out how I could benefit people. People tend to open up if you have something that can benefit them. Whether it’s something minor (chatting with them to prevent boredom) or something major (intimate relationships), social relationships form with mutual reciprocity.

So how do you combat these blockades?
-Realize that they are an illusion.
-No matter how many times you fall down, remember your vision/goal.
-People can benefit from you taking action, so think of them benefiting as well.

So going back to prioritizing my grades, here’s what I have accomplished the past week:
I found someone to study with in each of my four classes. (I’ll label them by number.)

Last Wednesday:
-A friend that I met through my housemate studied with me in class #1. I met her on Day 35 after he met her. He introduced me to her. During that day, she asked both of us to study. My housemate was busy so she and I studied for 3 hours. A half-hour in, I asked her some personal questions and joked around to lighten the mood. By the end of the 3 hour studying session, I felt like she was a friend that I haven’t seen for awhile. It was a nice experience.
*I also had to reject my friend from Day 28 who is also in class #1 because I had to study for class #2!

Last Thursday:
-My friend whom I met all the way back on Day 10 studied with me for an hour before the exam in class #2. We joked about spring break plans. We also talked about our grades, selling the textbook, and other jokes we had from the previous days.

-I’ve planned to study with someone from class #3 that I met by chance on Day 39 as well. We also studied together for a previous exam on Day 45. During Day 45 there was a lot of silence but I managed to do better after studying with this person. I decided to text her. She agreed to study again and we’ll meet up on Thursday.

-I plan to study with another person I met by saying “Hi” to on Day 41. I saw her coming out of the same bus that I just took home. I decided to call out her name and she turned back. I decided that studying for class #4 with would be a good idea. She was busy with work but agreed that we should find a time to study. Failed rejection, accepted.

There are a lot of days, numbers, and people above.
The main point to take away is that I found the assertiveness to find people to study with. I also feel like some of them are friends. At the very least, my offer to study with them benefited both people. I feel that I’ve “walked up a step” in my own personal “staircase” by achieving a couple of my goals.

Your goal at the top of the staircase is achievable. All it takes is one step and you’re that much closer to seeing the ultimate goal become a reality.