in Approaches

Share Your Honest Intent

March 08 2012 1:30PM

I’m sitting at the cafeteria sipping on my black coffee. I usually open the lid for a couple of minutes to let the heat get out for a little bit.

The moment I throw the lid onto the counter, I noticed a girl out of the corner of my eye.

She is sitting to my right and reading a book about beliefs and how those beliefs shape people in cultural and societal context.

After brainstorming what to say for a minute, I say, “Hi. How is that book?” [This is proof that it doesn’t really matter what you start with. Just start the conversation.]

She turns to me and smiles. “It’s really interesting” she says.

We talk about that for 10 minutes. She is a Sociology major which totally fits with how she has to read and annotate the book for her 3:10 class the same day. We chat about how beliefs are greatly influenced by society and its acceptable beliefs.

She is an incredibly fiery character: A wave of fire and ice blended into one another. She has passionate points that make her sound like she is preaching to me and other points that are given deep thought. She shares deep interpersonal conflict with relative ease and trust. She tells me how frustrating it is to have pressure from her family but at the same time, I feel her love for them. She’s full of complexity and a gifted conversationalist.

We continue for half an hour until I ask her about her necklace. She states that a close friends of hers gave it to her. It was a darker shade of blue. She told me how her close friend gave it to her because he really cherished her as a person.

I asked her, “Did he want anything romantic with you?” She said she wasn’t sure.

[It seemed like she talked about him with intriguing fervor and passion that I had to ask this. Unfortunately, it seemed like the guy didn’t know how to express himself based on what she told me.]

I nodded. I shared a lot about myself to her as well.

I was into all sorts of ideas, philosophies, and dark music. She told me that I reminded her of the same guy who gave her the necklace. She couldn’t stop talking about him and that I was the only other person she talked to that has the same sort of depth when it came to talking about all sorts of subjects.

This continues on for 90 minutes until 3:00, 10 minutes before her class.

I tell her it was great meeting her, get her number to keep in contact, and go on my way.

[Looking back, I realized something funny. I paralleled that guy she talked about. I never told her my intentions. She seemed really interested but since he didn’t directly share his intent, she wasn’t sure what to think. I fell into the same problem. She wasn’t sure what to think and therefore made it difficult to keep in contact after this initial meeting. This is why you must share your honest intent. If you want to make friends, tell people you want to make more friends. If you want to get a date, tell them they’re attractive. Share your honest intent. Deliver it confidently and 99% of the time, it will be welcomed and appreciated.]

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