Day 19 (Rejection Block)

Today I woke up way too late again, which caused me to drink some Coke Zero. What a terrible mistake.
Although I talked someone today, it was very brief. The anxiety was riding pretty high the whole day thanks to that soda and I was starting to think the way I did before I started all of this. I’ve just lost my way a bit because I’ve gotten that “mirror” syndrome again. It’s when you have a metaphorical mirror in your mind, therefore you think everyone is judging and staring at you. I need to shatter that mirror. I’ve shattered it but today it’s still there. I need to break it down fully. I always feel like I am very close.

In my memory class, we had a lecture. Then all of a sudden we were given forms to participate in an experiment. Half of the people were randomly assigned to put their arms in warm water for 3 minutes. The other half: cold water. I got the cold water and it was pretty fun to feel my arm numb up. Then we were given word pairs.
It’s funny to be an experiment in a study but we’re in a research university. The results will be given in a future day. (I think it’s studying how that people who got the cold water can function with memory after having that sort of “pain”.)

As for my rejections, I seriously found opportunities only when I had to rush to class. I need to figure out how to regain that mindset while continuing to practice my “small talk” skills. I don’t like it but without it, you cannot get deeper into a person’s personality.

I have the rejection equivalent of writer’s block.

Tomorrow, I’ll use emergency one since my mind is all out of ideas.
I need to regain that momentum.

Just to make things more fun, I have two midterms tomorrow. Wish me luck!


Hi, Matt! I'm on Day 11 and I've been feeling the same way, so I read through your posts. Knowing that it really happens heartened me to continue. Thanks! ^^