Day 20 (Punch the Imaginary Mirror; Make the Anxiety Sleep)

I have two midterms today so it’s all kind of hazy. This morning there was a lot of fog to add to that sort of gloomy atmosphere.

I went straight to my first exam. I felt I probably got a B on it. Wish me the best on that.

Then, for one hour, I went around with these slips. I printed them out from this site. The slips say “You are beautiful” and I cut out 10 of them.

So far (it’s midday now), I’ve been able to give out four. I’ll hand out the rest tomorrow or next week.
1. This lady was eating Taco Bell at a table so I went up to the table and threw the slip next to her and went on my way.
2. Another lady was sitting down in the art building so I put a slip next to her as she was on her laptop.
3. In the library, I walked up to someone and dropped it on their keyboard.

These three I didn’t turn around or examine any of their reactions. I simply wanted to do that on purpose so that I could overcome my own mental reactions. I’m trying to overcome this imaginary mirror! I need to destroy the imaginary mirror. I have to let them think what they may. Creeper? Nice gesture? Amazing? Quirky? Scary? Those thoughts are things I cannot control. I can only control my reaction. My reaction was that “This is fun. I hope I am giving out positive energy!”

4. I passed by a girl on her laptop. Then I realized she just had a piece of gum! I walked back to her and asked, “Hi, do you have a piece of gum?” She totally handed me a piece right away. (Besides, I really needed a piece, my mouth felt bad. Blame the wisdom teeth.) Then I handed her a slip. She read it and I saw her face radiate. She said “Thanks!” as I kept going. That’s what makes this fun. Also, my breath is probably refreshing compared to before. So that was a very refreshing failed rejection.

I took the 5pm bus to class. I had to wear my green shoes this time. I was pretty scared of this exam and my green shoes are my lucky shoes. Hahaha. Anyways, back to topic.
I see someone next to me with their biochemistry book. I ask them why they’re counting their change. (I realize I need to speak up louder. Tone is fine but I have to speak up!). The girl looked at me and said “Oh, for a scantron.” Then I wish her good luck on her exam. That’s all there is to that conversation. Nothing wrong with that at all.

However, I walked into the coffee/cafeteria, I see many people doing their last minute studying, facebooking, reading, etc. Then something awesome happened. I saw two people talking to one another and one of them had a certain textbook on the table. At the last split second, I realize that the textbook is from my Psychology class! Then I requested to them if I could sit with them and study. They both were a little shocked but made room for me. What a great failed rejection because I probably did get a better grade on my exam for doing it. They asked me a question and luckily I knew it. Therefore, I had built rapport.
The great thing was that it all felt so fluid and free; my anxiety had slept the hour away.

Jaky Astik
Jaky Astik

I'm going to do this. Yes, I'm going to do this thing. Like, it's a tiny greeting card you express yourself with.