“It’s too bad that I did the bad thing, screw up, but I’m not a worm, I’m not a louse, I give myself what we call USA – unconditional self-acceptance, just because I’m alive and human, for no other reason. So therefore, if you don’t like me, I don’t like that – I’d like you to like me, but if you don’t who really cares? What’s going to happen to me – very little!” – Albert Ellis
Change your idea of what someone is rejecting
Much of the time when someone rejects us, we get frustrated because we feel they’re rejecting our whole being. When they reject your mediocre cooking, they’re rejecting you as a whole. When they reject your favorite music group, they’re rejecting you as a whole.
That isn’t true.
What they’re rejecting is something at face value. They’re rejecting the fact alone.
Change your perspective from they’re rejecting me as a person to rejecting something based on their opinion.
Based on their limited knowledge, they do not like whatever you are presenting and that’s okay.
For example, if you’re introduced to a stranger and both of you have a lot in common, that person doesn’t know that yet. Their first idea may be, “Oh, look at that weird shirt. Yeah this person is too weird.” It’s their bad that they missed out on the opportunity. There could also be a million other reasons that they didn’t like you.
Once you understand that rejection was an old concept to keep humanity together and intact during the days of our ancestors, you’ll understand that it does very little for us during the modern era.
Get past the evolutionary markers and start taking those chances.
Shift your perspective of rejection into feedback that helps you progress to where you want to go
Think objectively about what you could have done better. Remember that for next time.
“Oh I wasn’t consistent with that date because I was too scared to kiss her at the end of the date.”
“I didn’t get a reply because my writing wasn’t organized. I’ll rewrite it and send it again.”
All rejection is feedback to improve on yourself. Think of it as a form of constructive criticism that’ll improve your life.
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