Day 53 (Anxiety Relapse; An Easy Way to Not Let it Happen to You)

*The past couple of weeks, I’ve had an intense personal issue to deal with. It affected me so deeply that I took a long break from rejection. I’m hoping to post more often and experience more rejection from here on out. I’ll be able to be held accountable again by becoming active in my experiences. Either I have more rejections or I risk having nothing to write about.

Have you ever had a time when something personal crushed you to pieces? That’s what happened to me. It hurt me so deeply that I lost my inspiration and motivation. I didn’t want to do the rejection game anymore. I didn’t want to do anything except lay down in bed and forget about everything. I could be wrong but I know the majority of people have a day or two when they feel like that. I had that isolated feeling for a week because I held on to external factors of the situation.

So what changed?

After about a week of feeling lost and broken, someone came up to me and said, “No matter how sad you feel, it won’t change the outcome.” I realized there’s no point to stay in a shut down mode for so long. Sure, it happens from time to time and that’s alright. I’m human, I have feelings, and I will have days where I am down.

I got over it by re-evaluating the whole situation. I can control my internal reactions to it. I can continue to improve myself. I can continue to put myself out there. Whatever happens will happen.

So what’s an easy way of not letting an undesirable outcome overwhelm you?

Don’t take yourself so seriously.
Embrace awkwardness, embarrassment, and rejection.
I know it’s tough because we’ve been subconsciously told all our lives that these things are bad. But why does it have to be bad?

I always tell myself, “In a thousand years, who will really care if I did something terribly awkward or embarrassing? Exactly. No one.”

So my rejections from the past week or so:
-I was standing at the bus stop and saw someone that looked familiar. I realized I forgot what class she was in. I asked her if she was in class #1 or class #2. She said she wasn’t in either. Embarrassing and hilarious. So I realized she was in class #3. I asked her about it and she said it was boring. As long as you have something to read or do, then it’s bearable. Then silence came. I asked her if she was waiting for a specific bus. She shook her head and said she was waiting for another route. Then silence came again. I could tell she didn’t want to keep the conversation going. I decided to stop the conversation there. I’ll say why in a future post. Rejection.
-I’ve asked a couple more people to study with me. I’m at the point where I need to ask other things because it’s ballooning to the point where there’s too many people to study with!
-My friends pressured me to go up to this girl at Starbucks (within a Mall) and talk to her. I haven’t adjusted rejection to non-school interactions, so this was a good way of knowing that I have to work on this. I joked with her about her drink. (It was one of those caramel ones.) Yet, I felt there was way too much caramel in it. And then I honestly told her that my friends wanted me to give my number. So I did but didn’t get a call. Rejection. Although I’ll have a future post as to why I know I didn’t get one.
-Finally, I got another job interview today. We’ll see if I get the job or get rejected. Win-win situation.

Accept awkwardness. It’ll help you reach out to others.

2 comments
Chris Barba
Chris Barba

Ha! I love reading these posts Matt. You have a way of saying exactly what I'm thinking. When I was reading about the girl at the bus stop I could just feel the awkwardness from behind my keyboard. Kind of like watching Steve Carell in The Office. I've certainly had moments that have really shaken my up as well. Last summer I didn't get the job I so desperately wanted (and kind of thought I was going to get). I tried not to, but I found myself blaming who I was for not getting the job. Immediately I targeted my inward dispositions and doubt began casting its ominous shadow. I've certainly bounced back since then, with a whole number of failures and successes on the way. The important distinction to make is that a rejection does not define you. It is a path to growth, a learning situation, and even if you fail, you still succeed in attempting. Looking forward to reading your future posts Matt. Cheers!