*I didn’t write yesterday because I had to attend to a family emergency. It’s an unfortunate situation.
Yesterday (Day 30) I got rejected by Target as they could not offer me a job. It was frustrating news because I really wanted to work there.
Today, I saw the three exchange students again from Day 29. We were in San Francisco again and went to the museum. The exhibitions were quite interesting and we were around exploring all the pictures, paintings, videos, and other pieces of art for a good couple of hours.
Afterwards, we ate at a diner and talked about more cultural differences. We talked about how funny it is that nickels are bigger than dimes but have less value, songs about San Francisco, the Super Bowl, and many references about their own cultures.
Then I guided them to their bus stop that would take them to the Golden Gate Bridge. I said my farewell and went on my way home to watch the Super Bowl.
The rejection today was very subtle but it made me feel uncomfortable. It’s a bit tough to explain but let’s just say I was possibly given an opportunity when someone said something but the other person shot it down. Extremely subtle. (I may edit this but I’ll think about it for a day.)
I will continue with getting rejected once a day, hoping that more examples will motivate people to join the game. It also enabled me to do quite a few things that I never would have dreamed of without this game. Since it’s continuing to make me push my comfort zone, I’ll keep doing it.
I learned some tips from the first 31 days. Here are my conclusions.
1. Approach quickly: When you take action right away, you do not have any time to over-analyze the situation. For example, if you’re just standing there for 10 seconds thinking if you should talk to them, it looks a bit creepy and awkward. Be sure act within a few seconds and start talking! What should you say? “Hi” works almost all the time!
2. Start with simple tasks for the first week or so: Just say hi or ask someone for a discount at the register. Exposing yourself to small rejections makes it easier to take more significant rejections.
3. When you say hi, you are waking up strangers from their boring day: The majority of people are waiting for someone to break the ice and just talk to them. Most people have routines and monotonous days that start becoming the same. When you break the ice, you’re giving them something interesting that is not typical of their day.
4. People will usually say yes (unless they really cannot): “I can’t do that because my supervisor isn’t here.” “No, I’m sorry I don’t have any of that.” “Sorry, I’m in a relationship right now.” You have to let them say no. What if they say yes? When you take action, you’re giving yourself a chance. You have no chance if you stay quiet and passive.
5. No one cares about you: Whenever you want to ask something of someone, the people around the situation will not care. Unless it directly benefits them, most of the time they will not care. Even if they ridicule you, they’re just fighting their own insecurity or want a quick laugh (which is forgotten about quickly as well).
6. Have no attachment to negative (or positive!) outcomes: The core reason why people are afraid of being rejected is that the actual situation comes up way short of their expectations. That cute girl could say no when you thought she was a sure date. The boss you thought you had good relations with rejected your promotion request. When you have no attachments, you can accept whatever happens easily.
7. Do not take rejection personally: They are not saying no to you personally. They simply cannot give what you want from them. If someone does not like you in a romantic way, they have to reject you because of their own feelings. If it is an item request, they may not have it. There’s no other meaning behind their actions. Even if they ignore you or slap you, that’s their issue. They could have had a bad day. They could have some sort of bad association. Feel proud you gave it a shot.
8. Think of it as an adventure: There is no better (and cheaper) way to get an adrenaline rush than to talk to someone new without any previous interaction. For those who are more experienced/less shy, simply talk to a whole new group of people!
9. Altruism is a great addition to making the world more positive.: Do things that would make you happy for simply doing them. It is up to the other party/person to accept that as a positive action. (For example, my Day 20).
10. Rejection creates interesting stories to tell!: Rejection has many interesting elements to it. It enables you to have interesting stories to tell to strangers and close friends alike.