Day 52 (How a Limo Driver Helped me While I had Thai Food)

This happened a few days ago.

I went out with my family to dinner. We ended up eating at a Thai restaurant. Here are my own pictures depicting how amazing that dinner was.

There’s some yellow curry to make you hungry!

However, right after I left the Thai restaurant, I noticed that my pocket was lighter than usual. I had lost my wallet. My family and I frantically retraced the path of the previous hour. We went back to the restaurant. We went back to the ATM where I deposited some cash right before going to the restaurant. We searched around the area where we parked in both places. My family and I had no luck in finding my wallet. It had disappeared.

We decided to go back home. A lot of things went through my head in that 20 minute drive. “I have to deactivate all my cards? Darn.” was just one of my many worries.

To make matters worse, I “lost” my wallet just 3 months before this date. There was a day of panic in the air. Then at night, I found it in the sofa. What a great waste of a day. But it just reinforced a lesson that I was about to learn today.

My family and I arrive home. One of our neighbors was waiting for us. She calls for my mom because she wanted to hand her something.
It was my wallet.

Inside, I found a business card. At the same time, my neighbor told me that a limo driver came to my house to bring my wallet back. His wife found it on the ground near the Thai restaurant.

I decided to call the phone number on the business card. A lady answered. I told her how thankful I was for bringing back my wallet to my house. She told me that it was no problem. She sympathized with how tough it would be for a student like me to lose all those cards (debit cards, IDs, and reward cards). She also told me that she tried to find a phone number but couldn’t. Instead, they saw my address on the driver’s license and drove it back. They couldn’t hear anyone at the residence as we were still enjoying our Thai food. So the driver gave it to my neighbor.

I thanked her again and told her that I would try to refer people to their limo service.

People have the potential to be good and do the right thing. I’m glad to know that there are still some people like that out there.

Who knew that I could get a failed rejection just because other people were altruistic?

Day 51 (Walking Up the Stairs to Achieve your Goals)

*I’ve been busy prioritizing my grades. This will relate to the post further down.

“The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps – we must step up the stairs.” -Vance Havner

Based on this quote, was there a time when that vision felt like it was 100 steps away? It seems daunting, doesn’t it?
But no matter how far away that vision is, it’ll never happen in real life unless we “walk up the stairs.”

So what do I mean by walking up the stairs?

Well I’ll describe my vision. I’d like better grades and more friends. That’s all there is for now because I’m still trying to figure out what I want. To some, that vision may only need one or two steps. Since I have some degree of social anxiety, there are more steps in my personal “staircase”. It seemed pretty tough. So I challenged myself to “walk up the stairs” to fulfill my vision.

So what’s the big hold up? Why can’t I just walk up the stairs quickly?

There are metaphorical blockades that get in the way

A couple of examples from my life:
-Social anxiety was my number one blockade. I’m not saying it’s fully conquered but it affects me much less. Back in the Fall, I could barely talk to any stranger. Today, I feel like I could talk to anyone if the situation calls for it.
-Another blockade was figuring out how I could benefit people. People tend to open up if you have something that can benefit them. Whether it’s something minor (chatting with them to prevent boredom) or something major (intimate relationships), social relationships form with mutual reciprocity.

So how do you combat these blockades?
-Realize that they are an illusion.
-No matter how many times you fall down, remember your vision/goal.
-People can benefit from you taking action, so think of them benefiting as well.

So going back to prioritizing my grades, here’s what I have accomplished the past week:
I found someone to study with in each of my four classes. (I’ll label them by number.)

Last Wednesday:
-A friend that I met through my housemate studied with me in class #1. I met her on Day 35 after he met her. He introduced me to her. During that day, she asked both of us to study. My housemate was busy so she and I studied for 3 hours. A half-hour in, I asked her some personal questions and joked around to lighten the mood. By the end of the 3 hour studying session, I felt like she was a friend that I haven’t seen for awhile. It was a nice experience.
*I also had to reject my friend from Day 28 who is also in class #1 because I had to study for class #2!

Last Thursday:
-My friend whom I met all the way back on Day 10 studied with me for an hour before the exam in class #2. We joked about spring break plans. We also talked about our grades, selling the textbook, and other jokes we had from the previous days.

-I’ve planned to study with someone from class #3 that I met by chance on Day 39 as well. We also studied together for a previous exam on Day 45. During Day 45 there was a lot of silence but I managed to do better after studying with this person. I decided to text her. She agreed to study again and we’ll meet up on Thursday.

-I plan to study with another person I met by saying “Hi” to on Day 41. I saw her coming out of the same bus that I just took home. I decided to call out her name and she turned back. I decided that studying for class #4 with would be a good idea. She was busy with work but agreed that we should find a time to study. Failed rejection, accepted.

There are a lot of days, numbers, and people above.
The main point to take away is that I found the assertiveness to find people to study with. I also feel like some of them are friends. At the very least, my offer to study with them benefited both people. I feel that I’ve “walked up a step” in my own personal “staircase” by achieving a couple of my goals.

Your goal at the top of the staircase is achievable. All it takes is one step and you’re that much closer to seeing the ultimate goal become a reality.

Day 50 (Embrace Awkwardness to Reap the Benefits + Thoughts on Rejection Therapy)

Do not wait; the time will never be “just right.” -Napoleon Hill

Have you ever had something you wanted to do but decided to put it off and wait for the right moment?

Instead of putting off a goal, embrace awkwardness.
Just go out there. What’s the worse that could happen? You could feel awkward at an interview, a party, a date, or any other event. You could feel awkward just by attempting to get out of the house.
An example? Re-read Day 47. That minute of awkwardness gave me a taste of what it means to risk the ego. Yet I’m still alive and writing this post, aren’t I?
Each day that passes without action is just another wasted opportunity. As a fellow human being, I’d like to advise you that everyone’s span of time on this planet is ticking. Our time here is limited. Make the best use of that limited time by going out and feeling awkward.

So you’re saying that you’re extremely introverted? Gather up your courage and go out there. It’s better to miss on the side of taking action rather than missing out on an opportunity altogether.

Create inspiration for yourself. There has to be something lurking inside of you that can create some sort of inspiration. Find a quote. Find someone online that has something in common with you, then meet them. Find a menu to your favorite restaurant. Find your old address book with old contacts. Find anything that makes you get out there.

You deserve to live. You deserve to destroy whatever shell, wall, barrier that has been created. As long as your intent is to improve yourself by stepping out of your comfort zone, it is your right to feel awkward.

So what did I do to feel awkward?
I went to hangout with one of my best friends and many acquaintances. Some people may think that’s not that awkward but everyone has their own awkwardness battle. One of my biggest challenges is breaking down my own barrier with strangers. Just like any other introvert, it takes me some time to feel comfortable around people I don’t know well. After playing poker and making jokes for around an hour, I started to feel comfortable. Then it seemed like any other fun event. I had a blast hanging out with five people that I didn’t know so well. All it took was deciding that any potential awkward moments were okay. There was beer, turkey bacon, and random stories. That’s much better than sitting around doing nothing all day. It was an acceptance or failed rejection that I created by being content with anything that happened.

So what does being awkward have to do with Rejection Therapy? It has everything to do with Rejection Therapy. It enables you to take action.
1. It gives you a mindset where any negative situation is a learning lesson.
2. It gives you a chance to create the life that you imagine in your mind.
3. It gives you an opportunity to fulfill those chances that used to slip by.

In this life, there are very few things that are certain. However, when you decide to be the polite person that doesn’t bother anyone, you’re doing yourself a huge disfavor. When you don’t take a chance of awkwardness, you’re risking something much worse. You’re risking a life where you’re not living at all. The thought of being a flesh version of a mannequin is scarier than the thought of being rejected.

You should respect yourself enough to create chances. For example, let’s say that there’s someone that catches your eye at a Starbucks. You can tell they’re doing their homework. Is it fair to be rude and interrupt them? Only you can decide. If you feel that you and the other person could mutually benefit (e.g networking, relationship, etc.) then it’s worth the chance. Of course, do this in the most respectful manner possible.

Rejection Therapy enabled me to take those chances. It may not work for all people but it can work for those who need one final push to take action. Reverse psychology can be extremely helpful in these situations. In order to fulfill your goal of being rejected, you may have to feel awkward. But what if they say yes? That possibility is something worth feeling awkward for.

Even if you get 99 no’s, that one yes can be worth all the trouble.
Or you can stay in your comfort zone and be a perfect zero for zero.

*Leave a comment, your own blog, any additional links that relate to this post, any ideas on how I could get rejected, etc.
I will use the best ones and attempt to incorporate them into my next post! (Day 51)

Day 48&49 (Tips on how to Stay in the Present during Times of Stress)

It has been a long while since I posted. What happened you ask? Well remember that essay I had to write from Day 38? I got a huge rejection by receiving a horrible grade on it. I have to spend my time this weekend revising that essay and studying to make sure I get a good grade in that class (and my other classes).

Besides that essay, I met a couple more people in class and just talked to them. That essay rejection has frustrated me for the past few days so I will leave you with:
Tips on how to keep yourself in the present during times of stress. I’ll use my current essay situation as an example.

1. Enjoy the good moments. When I was talking to my friend, I felt a ton of anxiety from the essay. I took a deep breath and told myself to enjoy the company at that current moment.

2. Instead of getting angry or frustrated at the stressful situation, slowly find a solution. I was really disappointed at myself for the work I did. It wasn’t able the lack of effort though but not understanding the directions. So I have to create a solution for myself. Right after this blog post, I will email teacher assistants in trying to figure out what I did wrong and how to fix it.

3. Don’t jump to scary conclusions! I’ve been stressed for the past couple of days trying to calm my brain down. It’s not good to think about bad consequences when they haven’t even happened yet. It’s not good to think about the possibility of a failing grade.

4. Either throw away that negative thought or use it as motivation to make sure it doesn’t happen. I want to make sure that doesn’t happen so I am going to work extremely hard at making sure I put out my best work into the final draft. I also have to ask for help if I need it.

5. Clear your mind by thinking of something positive. When I felt a huge amount of anxiety, I made sure that I thought of something positive to calm me down. I told myself that spring break will be a great time to relax once I get all this work done.

Other Examples?
-When you have an interview the following day, keep practicing. Don’t think about the possibility of failure. Think about your execution, tone, and mannerisms. Do your best to show that they’d miss out on someone amazing if they didn’t get you.
-When you see the person of your dreams right in front of you. Just blurt out, “Hi.” There’s a good possibility that it may not work out but what if it does? Keep your mind in the present by enjoying the conversation, no matter how small. Keeping yourself in the present will enable you to keep your cognitive capability on the conversation at hand.

When there’s some scary, tedious task lurking around the corner, be sure to stay in the present by not worrying about it and believing that you can overcome the challenge. When the time comes to challenge it, work on the process. Don’t foreshadow what will happen, just do your best.