Day 47 (Never Settle for Anything Less than You Want; Become Exceptional)

From the article, “Do You Have the Weirdo Syndrome?”, “The bittersweet reality is that you’ll never get rid of the Weirdo Syndrome, but the more you understand that your weirdness isn’t a bad thing and something to hide in the closet, the more you’ll be able to find those people who see how uniquely beautiful you are rather than how weird you are.” – Charlie Gilkey

Have you ever felt a time when you wanted to throw in the towel or give up on all your ideals and dreams because you have continued to fail miserably? Have you ever wanted to walk away from it all and live a complacent life because you felt it was utterly impossible to get any of your goals accomplished? In top of those things, do you feel you were too weird to have any of your aspirations come true?
This is what I have to battle every single day mentally. The struggle with trying to accept my weirdness and share its beauty with people is difficult and challenging.

Today, I felt so cold (literally and metaphorically) and distant. One factor could be that I was cynical about my own uniqueness.* (Note: If you are short on time, skip ahead to the asterisk for the rejection.)

First, this is what happened today: I went to San Francisco to meet two friends I haven’t seen in two years. It all started when I decided to tell them about rejection therapy. I asked them to hang out today on facebook and they agreed. That was a failed rejection (or acceptance). We met up and went to a coffee shop where we hung out for an hour. I decided to try to play a mad libs type of game. They mocked it and made me feel a little embarrassed. But I knew it was all in fun. They are silly, comedic folks. They are so close to one another that they almost seem like a couple. After having coffee, they had to put concert posters all over the poles and posterboards around the area.

They let me staple some of them to the poles, so that was fun. We did this for four blocks. We also took extended breaks by entering some shops that had some quirky items. Many of the stores had many “hipster” items. For example, there were journals and books with weird topics.

After a couple of hours, I needed to use the restroom and went around the area to find one. Then, I walked around a couple of blocks on my own to check stores around the area. I found a couple of nice stores and took their business cards. I called my two friends and they told me they were still where I had originally left them, which was a couple of blocks away.

*After walking a block towards where I was supposed to meet up with my friends, an attractive girl passed by. I probably waited ten seconds before deciding to walk back and attempt to catch up with her. But I did it anyways. At this point, you could think I’m either crazy, noble, brave, or insane. I didn’t think about any of those things. I walked for about a block with a clear conscious. The only thought was trying to talk to her. I walked up to her side and said “Hi, how’s it going?” We talked for a minute and she told me that she was from Seattle. I told her, “Oh? So you have those guys that throw salmon right?” She nodded and also added that they had snow recently too. At this point, awkward silence emerged. Then I realized that I made a mistake of aligning my body sideways at a crosswalk, so it seemed like I was going a different direction. She pointed to me that I was going another way. But before I let her go, I asked her for her facebook. I did this in order to see if she had any interest to continue talking. She replied with, “I’m sorry I don’t have my computer with me right now.” It didn’t make total sense but the tone of her voice proved that she wanted to find an excuse to end the conversation. I respected that and said, “Okay, take care!” This rejection actually hurt somewhat (but more on that in a bit.) I walked back to my two friends.

We hung out for a little longer and then went to get cookies.
Here is the cookie that I had. Yes, there is a cookies and cream flavored cookie. That actually cheered me up.

Afterwards, they went to a concert while I took the train back home.

On the train ride back, I felt melancholy. It wasn’t about the rejection itself. I just felt that what I wanted was possibly too difficult. I was starting to become discouraged. I couldn’t get the thought of out my mind that I should pick the easier route and just date or befriend people that I “should” date or befriend. Then I remembered the post, “Do You Have the Weirdo Syndrome?”

It reminded me that I have the power to give others the chance to meet me. I have the power to let others into my life by starting a conversation. I have the power to give them the choice to say yes or no. The best I can do is continue to improve the initial stages of conversation with a stranger and give a reason for them to want me as a friend, potential date, or say yes to my request. The rest is up to them.

The article states that, “You can’t be remarkable and fit in at the same time.”

It may be more difficult to be remarkable but I realized it is the only way for me. Sure, I may be a bit eccentric but I would not have it any other way. The vision of my goals can only be made by me.

Day 45&46 (…And Then the Long-Term Benefits Appear)

*Just like any other goal, I lost my motivation a bit for a day or two. Lapses happen but I am not discouraged by them. I just have to think back to my core inspiration.
Also, I’ll make edits to this post tomorrow. It has been a long day.

So why do I try to get rejected? It enables me to reap the benefits of all of the failed rejections. For the past two days, I have been studying with people that I met simply by asking them to study when the opportunity arose during past days.

Day 45: Let me start with what happened yesterday. I got locked out of my apartment because there were new keys. All of my roommates were out of the apartment when I arrived. I took action and asked the main office if I could take the spare key to enter the apartment. The guy in the office quickly looked for the key and handed it to me.

I quickly grabbed my backpack and went to class. That was a very important failed rejection because if I did not get into the apartment, I would not have any of my supplies for class.

After both of my classes, I met up with someone I met on Day 39 (where we both were collecting notes for the same class). We decided to meet at the coffee area. She arrived a bit late (delayed failed rejection) but we started studying. We never built any previous rapport. There were very long, extended periods of silence that felt uncomfortable. The benefit was that we held each other accountable in studying. We asked each other clarifying questions and made sure we understood the material. After a while, I asked her some questions about how her day was and she answered. I also asked about other topics like favorite sports teams and where she was from. This enabled the feeling of rapport during breaks from studying. We studied for about four hours before the coffee area closed.

Day 46: Unfortunately, I had two midterms to study for. I woke up and got ready to take the first midterm. I arrived a bit early and did some last minute studying. My nerves were incredibly calm from the confidence of studying the day before. Once I got the exam, I realized that I was well-prepared with yesterday’s studying. I could have done a little bit better but studying with someone else was a huge improvement.

After the exam, I had to walk to the other side of campus. On my way there, I saw this really attractive lady. Like I said before, there is no perfect moment. Right before she entered a building, I called out and said, “Hey excuse me. I know this is potentially awkward but I was wondering if I could add you on facebook. I have a feeling that you’re interesting. Anyone with an art canvas has to be interesting right?” She smiled and said in a very polite tone, “Well I have a boyfriend, so there is that, so maybe not.” So I told her that was fine and it was nice meeting her. I went on my way to the other side of campus after the total rejection.

I met up with the girl from Day 28 to study for my other midterm. I was going to originally on Day 42 but the rain decided against that. I was also offered yesterday but decided that I had to study for the first midterm instead.
We met at the library and found an empty table to study at. We studied for two hours without much communication. We did ask one a few questions but that was it. After the two hours, I realized I was really hungry. So I turned to her and offered, “I am going to go to the cafeteria, do you want to join me?” Much to my surprise, she agreed and gave me a nice failed rejection. We both walked to the cafeteria and ordered our food. We found a table and started talking for a good twenty minutes. It was good because it broke the ice really well. We talked about baseball and where all the great sushi restaurants were around the area.

Then we walked back to the library.

Then another one of her friends came to study with us. He took her flashcards and decided to quiz both of us. It really gave another dimension to the study session because it was much more active. I reviewed really well with them. As I got to class, I felt pretty confident about how I was going to do. I did decently on the exam.

Studying with others is such a huge benefit.

Day 44 (Reuniting With an Old Friend is Hilarious) +Tips to Reunite with Them!

“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked” – Bernard Meltzer

Have you ever wanted to talk to an old friend?
Have you ever wanted to see how someone you have not seen for a year or two has turned out?

It is extremely simple in this day and age to catch up with someone that you have not seen for a year or longer. Thanks to facebook, all it takes is a simple post and some basic information to reunite with that person.

1. Find a place that has a lot of people to ensure safety. Starbucks or any other coffee place is the best bet. I always find that a great place because people like getting coffee while ensuring that there are enough people to feel comfortable.

I decided to hang out with someone from my old high school. That means I have not seen her for three years. It was interesting to test the concept of having no expectations because when you do not see someone for three years, you do not know how well you two will get along. We met at a table near Starbucks. She ended up ordering lemon pound cake. She shared some with me. I forgot how amazing that pound cake was.

2. Don’t have expectations about what will happen and just let it happen. I did my best to accept anything that would happen. The first few minutes are the most interesting because it is all about trying to find an interesting topic to talk about.

We explored an area that was reminiscent of high school because it was the best hangout spot for high school. It was interesting how that worked out. There was Starbucks, Borders (which is closing down), Michael’s, and Best Buy. All these stores reminded me of my time in high school. It was hilarious.

3. Try to find a common interest that makes both people laugh and have fun! Once you find a topic that both people are interested in then continue to talk about it! My friend actually enjoyed it when I talked about using this rejection therapy to take more risks and chances. She related to it because she wanted to start doing it too. She also told me some of her own situations that could have counted for being rejected. The funny thing on top of it all was that someone passed by that had the sweater of our old high school.

After that, I decided to tell her about a game that I played before with some people. The game is funny because it pretty much has the person answer some questions. Then the questioner can interpret the person’s answers in so many ways that it makes total sense to them. It is sort of like a horoscope. For example, one question was, “How is the weather going?” She answered with cloudy. I told her that her mood was a bit so-so currently. It is really open to interpretation.

She really liked how funny and hilarious the game was, so she wanted to write down all the rules. However, both of us did not have a pen. So I went into Starbucks and asked them for a pen. The barista handed the pen to me without any second thoughts. That was a handy failed rejection.
I re-told her all the rules to the game. After that, we both decided it was time to go.

No one was at the cashier register when I re-entered so I placed the pen back on the counter.
As I went back out, I asked my friend if she wanted to take a photo. She faked a no but said sure afterwards. She told me to ask the guy standing at the table next to us to take the picture. I asked him and he said sure as well. He took the picture. Then everyone went on their own way. In addition, I left with two more failed rejections.

Today was fun.
All it takes is sending an old friend a facebook message! Good things may come out of it.

Day 43 (“Target”ing is Not the Answer)

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.” – Eckhart Tolle

Is there a moment where you decided to take a chance and it ended up being totally embarrassing?

Today I had to leave early to go back home. I had to get my teeth checked a month after my wisdom teeth were pulled. After that appointment, I realized something very difficult. I had to get rejected away from campus.

At around 6pm, I went to Target (it’s a large convenience store).

I decided to look around and let an opportunity to come by. After walking around for 15 minutes, I saw a girl I wanted to talk to. I went up to her and asked her, “Hi. How’s it going?” She said good. I told her, “I know this is a little awkward to ask you at a Target but do you have a facebook?” At this point, I could tell she thought I was a creep at this point. She said that she did not have one. Whether or not she lied is up to her. I said that I would not ask her for her #. I told her it was nice meeting her and went on my way. That was the most uncomfortable, awkward rejection I have gotten so far.

I learned that you have to build rapport when you talk to people to make them feel comfortable. Instead of seeing them as a target, you have to make them feel comfortable first. I have been too used to getting contact with people in a quick manner because on campus people expect to be hit on or talked to. I will have to learn how to develop more small talk skills. That is a very different story away from that environment.

I still feel extremely embarrassed about the whole thing.

I feel more respect for those who attempt to do this in a regular everyday environment.

Day 42 (Rain, Rain Go Away? It Didn’t.)

“The words you choose to say something are just as important as the decision to speak.” -Author Unknown

Have you ever had a time when something did not go to plan because of ineffective communication?

Today was definitely that day for me.

Today was one of the worst days in terms of weather. The rain did not stop pouring.

Before I left, I decided to ask my roommate to borrow his umbrella. It was courteous of him to lend it to me but he did. That was a nice failed rejection to start the day.

I went to campus early because I was going to give my notes to the girl from Day 28 and study for the midterm coming up next week. However, we decided to communicate through facebook. That was a big mistake. I am one of the few human beings that live without an iphone, so I did not have a way to look for her and check if she left a facebook message at the same time. I did not have her phone number.

I looked for her and kept looking. I walked from the coffee area (which was packed!) to the library and back twice. I still could not find her. After 45 minutes, I messaged her and told her that we should just meet in class. She was sitting in front of the classroom. I told her what had happened. I asked for her phone number and joked that I could not imagine how it must have been in the 80s and early 90s when people did not have cell phones yet. She agreed to give it. Another failed rejection. I gave her my notebook to take notes from but she declined. It was an odd rejection because had it been for better means of communication, I could have studied and built rapport. She did offer to study at a later date, so stay tuned.

Moral of today’s story: Have their phone number so you can call or text them. This is especially important when you have a study group or meeting when there are hundreds of people in the same building (thanks to the rain!)

I also offered 4 people gum. Three more rejections and one failed rejection.

*Also, I need more ideas on how to get rejected! Please send me ideas at 30vanquish [at] gmail [dot] com! It would add more pressure for me (a good thing) by making me do your (the readers!) creative, quirky ideas!