“Nobody really wants to know about you, they just want to know what about you they can relate to themselves.”
All mirrors reflect an image back to you that enables an identical or modified version of what the mirror sees. If you hold a cat up to the mirror, it’ll always show a cat. This mirror image allows everyone to see themselves.
Imagine fixing your hair or putting on makeup without the help of a mirror. It would be nearly impossible to visualize our own image without its help.
The human mirror
Now imagine this mirror captures your ideas, thoughts, passions, and values. This is the human mirror.
People want to relate to other people that share similar reflections. This creates rapport and a sense of validation within two individuals or many in a group. These reflections help create bonds that may last many years or in a single moment.
The only thing that the mirror demands is that you project an image it can reflect back.
If you enjoy a healthy conversation about Skyrim, then you must understand its vast winter world to really appreciate the image. If you don’t then you either allow yourself to learn new knowledge to project this mirror or you don’t reflect anything back.
You can use that metaphor for any interest.
It can be risky to try and mirror everything because there is only so much everyone can know about each individual interest. However a basic knowledge about most topics can allow the other person to reflect a more sophisticated and detailed explanation about their mastered interest.
The best example came a few months ago when I was talking about the idea of attachment and how that is a great cause of many frustrations. The other person was going through a moment where individuality mattered more and therefore attachment conflicted with it. So I shared my own thoughts about attachment and how limiting it can become when someone gets overly attached to another. The other person agreed profusely and had that look of passion which confirmed that individuality mattered more.
The mirror image had been completed. Taking an idea and reflecting it back in similar thoughts creates connections.
If I started talking about the stock market and the other person had no image of that idea then the mirror fails. They cannot reflect the image because it doesn’t exist in that particular person’s thoughts. If they’re close enough or curious enough they will be open to learning about it but that isn’t always the case.
Usually when I start sharing ideas that the other person cannot relate to that is when the conversation goes stale and the rapport starts breaking down. The mirror starts fading away because the image doesn’t appear in the other person.
It is important to keep reflecting things within that particular person’s mirror or understand how open they are to new perspectives.
It is why I try my best to understand as many interests and concepts in order to see their mirrors.
It’s a chance worth taking. Everyone is made of the same stardust after all.